Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Randomize
