I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
