Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
