How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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