I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i love accidental penises.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
BRING THE BAGELS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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