Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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