hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
