Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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