He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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