I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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