so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
