Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
