She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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