We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
