It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
