im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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