You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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