Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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