i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
