we made out on top of his cat.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
