Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
