I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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