I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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