i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
