I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
