8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
