I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
