What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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