i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
