I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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