You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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