apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
