its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Enjoy the penises
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
