A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
only if we run a train.
done.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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