ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
