Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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