This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
