He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
