So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
