youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
