Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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