First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize