You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
