He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
