apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
