i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
