Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
