he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
