come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
