She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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