Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize