Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
