I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
