I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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