last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
