I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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