white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
