it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I understand Curling. That high.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
