Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
