Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize