She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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