I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
