is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
