You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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