Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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