There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
