the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
