eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
