I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
