stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My bed smells like the plague
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
