ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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