areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
