I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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