i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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