Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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