dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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