I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
