Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
