Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
