I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize